People say, it’s not about the gifts under the tree. And it’s not… not really. But the gifts that encircle the tree are symbols. You invested resources into choosing each gift for each family member. The time that you spent thinking about would she like this? it’s not the color she usually likes, oh, my goodness, that would be perfect for her; I can’t wait to see her open that is a reminder of how much that person means to you. Gifts also matter because of why we give gifts at all . Biblically, Jesus was around two years old by the time the wise men reached Him bearing gifts: frankincense, myrrh, and gold. These weren’t just luxurious gifts. Mary and Joseph weren’t wealthy; these gifts were what they needed to raise God’s son. And, so, giving necessary gifts is more than a hand-out; it’s recognizing that someone we love is in need, and caring enough to ease their worry by providing some of their necessities. Still, in many ways, the gifts were extravagant because this was God’s Son. Mary and Joseph might have been mere humans who needed some gold, but God’s Son didn’t need anything. He would have been protected and healthy even if they’d had to live in that barn for the next thirty years. Earthly resources mattered to Mary, and Joseph…. but the same practical gifts were also luxuries to Jesus. So, each year, I do my best to create both reverence and remembrance, but also wonder and unexpected, overwhelming joy. I want them to know that I care about their needs and their desires. 

I typically start shopping for Christmas around the end of September. And I don’t stop until Christmas Eve. Magic is abundant during this Season. Elves visit, cookies are baked, songs are sung (really, the season doesn’t feel official until Alabama’s Christmas album plays), movies are watched, events are enjoyed. This year, we’ve visited ICE at Gaylord Palms, went to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra play, mapped out the most lit-up houses in our area, gone caroling, and more. Christmas Eve is a mad dash to finish wrapping gifts, stuff the stockings, cooking, reading of “The Night Before Christmas” and other family traditions; I usually end up sleeping beside the tree. I love the twinkling lights and the anticipation of joy as they open around dozens of presents. Christmas morning is an early rise, exclamations over the scene at the tree, time opening gifts, and then a leisurely breakfast. A ride to the ocean, come back and watch movies, cook, and end with a bonfire by the pool.

Each year, I hope to get the girls a two or three “big” gifts, a box of books, and the rest typically ends up being clothes. This year, there’s a flurry of excitement over the following most loved gifts:

The Doll

My girls are teenagers. But, like me, they’ve loved dolls all their lives. They had a bunch of American Girl dolls that were their best friends for years. Breathe has wanted a true, full-body silicone, weighted doll for nigh on fifteen years. However, online scams for these dolls are a dime a dozen; I was scared of paying a lot of money and getting something I could have ordered from Walmart. The ones I knew were legitimate were close to a thousand dollars, which I couldn’t do. This year, when Breathe mentioned, almost jokingly, “I’ve always wanted one of those silicone, reborn dolls, you know,” my heart both ached and expanded. Ached because I’ve looked hard for fifteen years; I knew how hard it was going to be to find one I could have confidence in. Expanded because it’s absolutely precious that a teenager, a nineteen year old, still loves to collect dolls.

Dolls, for me, are special. I’ve loved them since I was little; I was a Junior in high school when I carried one to school with me. Dolls remind me of when I was little. My mama heart wanted to find the doll because Breathe also knows how hard it has been to find one. What a gift, I thought, if I could finally surprise her with that doll. So, I started sleuthing.

And I found a treasure.

An hour from our home, I found a doll shop. I called and the woman promised me she had a full- body, silicone weighted doll for half of what I’d seen online. I wasn’t convinced it would be the real thing… but I couldn’t not go look. I’d only been in this shop for a few minutes when I saw this doll…. she was one of two silicone dolls in the store… and she was perfect. Holding her feels like holding a newborn, live baby: her head flops, she’s five pounds and nineteen inches of perfection. Breathe loves her. After fifteen years of waiting for one of these, she finally has one. It makes me very happy.

The Birthday

Alight’s birthday is on January 15, exactly 3 weeks after Christmas, and five days before her cousin Alissia’s. Alight loves holidays. She loves traditions. And her birthday used to be one of her favorite days of the year. Once, just before bedtime, she cried because she didn’t want her birthday to be over. She’s a lot like me in that she needs to know what’s coming. She needs time to process, plan and be excited about what’s happening. A few weeks ago, she mentioned that she really wanted to go on another cruise to Bahamas. But she didn’t want to ask for it. Instead, she told me, “I really want you to book Breathe’s birthday trip – she’s turning 20, so I want to do that big.” She said, “We can just do a bonfire on the beach for my birthday, that’s fine.”

Except, it’s not for me.

Because Alight is one of a kind: she’s got the biggest heart of gold, she’s funny, she’s loyal and hardworking. I tell her she’s my memory-maker. Every year, she makes everyone a personalized box of things that are perfect for each person. She said, “Picking out things for others, arranging them, that’s something I genuinely enjoy doing. I don’t need a lot of presents.”

But I want her to understand how special she is. I want her to know how loved she is. I want her to believe that her dreams matter. I want her to be swept away, and to never stop reaching for the stars. So, I found a two night cruise to Grand Bahama Island that leaves the day before her birthday and returns the day after her birthday. I booked it and decided to give it to her for Christmas because I don’t want her to spend the next three weeks worrying about what the plan for her birthday is. I want her to have to pick out her birthday clothes, and pack, choose an excursion to do in the Bahamas and, generally, get excited. Because she is half my heart.

Disney

My niece first went to Disney in Paris. It was a big deal because that mouse is her best friend. She has a big stuffed Mickey pillow that she’s slept with since she was a baby. She loves Mickey Mouse in much the same way as I love Lumpy and Pooh or Alight loves My Little Ponies or Breathe loves dolls. The best memory from Disneyland Paris happened spontaneously as we walked away from one of the rides. Quietly, as if she were talking to herself, Alissia said, “I’m really happy.” The magic and wonder she feels right now for the princesses, for that mouse, and for amusement parks in general will be short-lived: she’s seven now and will turn eight five days after Alight’s birthday. Disney was part of what made us all excited about moving to Florida… and, yet, it’s been difficult to get annual passes. This year, I made it a priority. For when she’s in Florida… all of the girls are now annual passholders, able to enjoy the happiest place on Earth as often as they like.

The Boxes of Books

Each year, I get everyone a box of books. Over the years, this has (sometimes surprisingly) been a lot of fun to open. For example, this year, I found Alissia a joke book she loves. I picked out the girls each a couple of books to read, and included journals for journaling. These boxes o books make me happy to see the look of joy on their faces.

These most-excited-about gifts were just a few reasons for the joyful exclamations. This year, we’ve accomplished a lot, learned a lot, and drawn nearer to each other. What we’ll remember a year from now will be the feeling of family, beloved traditions, and a day spent being grateful for the many, many blessings we have. It’s not the individual gifts they’ll most remember as much as these intangible, priceless ones.